Is feeling empty.
I swear to God that I'm becoming like emo!Teuk.
When the hell do AP grades come out, anyways? And why am I empty-handed and AP-letter-less while a significant number of my peers are NOT?!
March has been busy. I've accomplished a lot, but not as much as I'd've liked to. Still, I'm glad that this month hasn't completely gone to waste.
April, April. I want to make her a really worthwhile month.
See, I've always been a bit, well, you know, depressed. It was an affliction, really - seventh, eighth, ninth grade, nothing seemed to make me truly happy. But now, I don't know I don't know why, or how, but I feel so very optimistic and joyful, like I can take on the world. Last year, all the bad things that are happening (aka bad grades and even badder pianoing) would have crushed me, but now, now it all seems just like another lesson learned, another step taken, another mini-epoch of my life. I can - I can move on, now, and that's a really big and great and gorgeous deal to me. I feel like I'm growing for the first time, and nothing is more exciting than that. There's so much more to life than bad grades and dismal piano and stupid boys. You can work hard and get good grades and be wonderful at piano! (Of course, can't say much about the guys, but I've learned to ignore that too.) You can paint and draw and run and eat and play sports and bike and take walks and talk to your friends and laugh the night away and live!
I don't think I'm being idealistic, though. Before, I was really idealistic, dreaming of a perfectful life, and the fact that that never happened would get me down. But now, I've accepted the fact that life is crappy but you can go through it with a good attitude and work your best. And if you've given all you've got, then you can be proud of yourself for at least trying!
Yeah. I think that my depression that I had for three years - although it seemed to last for an eternity - is finally going away and is being replaced with this wonderful - amazing - beautiful - free - optimistic and happy attitude that I much prefer. There's a future ahead of me, and it's mine, and I'm going to make it happen.
So, April, here I am.
A bulletin on Myspace led me to the PETA website, which, if you didn't know, is probably the biggest anti-animal-cruelty organizations out there.
It's such a very heart-wrenching site. Videos, music, articles, quotes - they've got it all there, just to save the animals. And it makes me so SAD and guilty for eating meat and wearing wool and not checking to make sure that my makeup isn't animal tested.
Did you know that animals in circuses are whipped, electrocuted, and beaten to learn their tricks? Do you know that when workers shear the wool off sheep, they tear apart at the sheep's skin and flesh? Did you know that fur farms keep animals in tiny cages barely big enough to fit themselves in and then hang, electrocute, beat, and skin the animals alive? Did you know that thousands of rabbits and cats and mice go blind, get poisoned, and die from shampoo, makeup, and other product testing? DX
Please, I strongly advise you guys to help. I know that I will. My friends-list is composed of many gifted writers and thinkers. We can write letters and emails to people who are able to change laws, as well as tell everyone that we can about this terrible, terrible tragedy.
Visit getactive.peta.org for more information. Please, guys. The animals would thank us.
The schoolyear is over; today was the last day.
Somehow, it doesn't seem like the last day. It seems like there should be weeks and weeks before the end.
I'm busy right now, devising a schedule for my summer. There's so much to do. So, I'll write more later.
Love you all.